Parent Scripts
Evidence-based language to help you navigate challenging parenting moments with confidence and connection.
Why Scripts Matter
In challenging moments, finding the right words can be difficult. Our scripts provide thoughtful, psychologically-sound language to help you respond rather than react. They're designed to:
- Validate your child's feelings while setting necessary boundaries
- Strengthen your connection even during difficult interactions
- Model healthy emotional expression and problem-solving
- Reduce power struggles and increase cooperation
Remember: These scripts are starting points, not rigid formulas. Adapt them to your family's unique needs and values.
Tantrums & Big Emotions Scripts
Validation & Presence Scripts:
"I see you're having big feelings right now. I'm here with you."
Acknowledges their emotional state without judgment.
"Your feelings are so big right now. That must feel scary."
Validates the overwhelming nature of big emotions.
"I'm going to stay close while you work through these feelings."
Provides safety and reassurance during overwhelm.
Boundary Setting During Meltdowns:
"It's okay to feel angry/sad/frustrated. It's not okay to hit/throw/hurt."
Validates emotions while setting clear behavioral boundaries.
"I can see your body needs to move. Let's find a safe way to get that energy out."
Redirects physical energy constructively.
"I need to keep everyone safe. I'm going to move you away from your sister."
Clear action when safety is at risk.
Friendship & Social Skills Scripts
Encouraging Social Connection:
"Making friends can feel scary sometimes. That's normal and brave of you to try."
"Good friends like you for who you are. You don't need to change yourself to make friends."
"What's one thing you could say to start a conversation with someone new?"
Social Skills Practice:
"Let's practice what you could say if someone asks to join your game."
"How do you think [friend] felt when that happened? What do their face and body tell you?"
"Taking turns and sharing shows friends that you care about their feelings too."
Current Events & World Issues Scripts
Explaining Natural Disasters:
"Sometimes nature is very powerful, and things like earthquakes/hurricanes/fires happen."
"These events are scary, but there are many people working to help and keep everyone safe."
"We are safe here. Our house/school has plans to keep us protected."
Managing Fear & Anxiety:
"It's normal to feel worried when we hear about scary things happening."
"Let's talk about our family emergency plan so you know what to do if something happens."
"When you feel scared about things on the news, you can always come talk to me."
Community Violence & Safety Scripts
Explaining Safety Drills:
"Schools practice safety drills to keep everyone safe, just like fire drills."
"Your teachers and principal work very hard to make sure school is a safe place."
"During a lockdown drill, the most important thing is to listen to your teacher and stay quiet."
After an Incident:
"Something very sad and scary happened at a school. You are safe, and we are going to keep you safe."
"It's normal to feel scared, sad, or confused when we hear about violence. All of those feelings are okay."
"Most people are good and kind. The person who did this was very sick and made a terrible choice."
Therapy & Mental Health Support Scripts
Normalizing Mental Health Support:
"Sometimes we need extra help with our feelings, just like we see a doctor when our body needs help."
"A therapist is like a feelings doctor. They help people learn how to handle big emotions."
"Going to therapy doesn't mean anything is wrong with you. It means we want to help you feel better."
Addressing Concerns:
"You won't get in trouble for anything you say to the therapist. They're there to help, not judge."
"What you talk about with your therapist is private, unless you're in danger."
"If you don't like the first therapist we meet, we can find someone else. It's important that you feel comfortable."
Crisis Care & Emergency Mental Health Scripts
Explaining the Need for Emergency Care:
"I'm worried about your safety right now, so we need to go to the hospital to get help."
"The doctors at the hospital are experts at helping kids who are having a really hard time."
"This isn't a punishment. We're getting you help because we love you and want you to be safe."
During the Assessment:
"The doctors are going to ask you questions about how you're feeling. It's important to be honest."
"I'll be here with you as much as they allow. You're not alone in this."
"The doctors need to understand what's been happening so they can help you feel better."
Sibling & Peer Conflict Scripts
Initial Response:
"I see you're both upset. Let's take a moment to calm our bodies first."
Stops escalation and creates space for resolution.
"I'm going to give each of you a chance to share what happened. [Name], you'll go first, then [Name] will have a turn."
Ensures both children feel heard.
Facilitating Solutions:
"It sounds like you both want [the toy]. What's a solution that could work for both of you?"
"I'm not here to decide who's right. I'm here to help you both figure this out together."
"How do you think your brother/sister felt when that happened?"
Bedtime & Sleep Scripts
Transition Scripts:
"In 10 minutes, it will be time to start our bedtime routine. What would you like to do until then?"
Gives advance notice and helps with planning.
"Our bodies need sleep to grow strong and healthy. Sleep helps your brain remember all the cool things you learned today."
Making Bedtime Positive:
"What's your favorite part of our bedtime routine?"
"Let's think of three good things that happened today while we get ready for bed."
Setting Limits & Boundaries Scripts
Empathetic Limit Setting:
"In our family, we [speak respectfully to each other]. That means [we don't call names]."
States family values clearly and specifically.
"I understand you want to [keep playing]. AND it's time for [dinner]."
Validates feelings while maintaining boundaries.
Non-Negotiable Limits:
"This is not negotiable, but I can offer you some control over [when/how] we do it."
"Safety rules are not flexible. I need to keep you safe."
Screen Time & Technology Scripts
Transition Warnings:
"Screen time is ending in 5 minutes. What would you like to do after we turn it off?"
Gives advance notice and helps with planning.
"Let's finish this level/episode, and then it's time to turn off the screen."
"I know it's hard to stop when you're having fun. Let's save your progress so you can continue tomorrow."
Explaining Limits:
"Our family rule is [X] hours of screen time per day. You've used yours up, but tomorrow you'll have more."
"Screens can be fun AND our brains need time to rest and play in other ways too."
"Too much screen time can make our brains feel tired and cranky. That's why we have limits."
Healthy Eating & Food Relationship Scripts
Neutral Food Language:
"All foods can fit into a healthy diet. Some foods give us energy, others are for enjoyment."
Avoids labeling foods as "good" or "bad."
"We have 'everyday foods' that help our bodies grow strong, and 'sometimes foods' that are fun treats."
Honoring Hunger & Fullness:
"Your body is smart and will tell you when you're hungry and when you're full."
"You don't have to finish everything on your plate. Eat until your body feels satisfied."
Identity & Difficult Conversations Scripts
Initial Support:
"Thank you for trusting me with this. I love you exactly as you are."
Immediate affirmation and acceptance.
"It's normal to have questions about who you are. I'm here to support you as you figure things out."
Ongoing Support:
"What would be most helpful for you right now? How can I support you?"
"We can take this one step at a time. You're in control of how fast or slow we go."
Travel & Spending Management Scripts
Pre-Trip Planning:
"Before we go to Disney World, let's talk about our budget. You can choose [X] souvenirs during our trip."
Sets clear expectations before excitement builds.
"We have $[amount] set aside for fun extras. How would you like to use that money?"
In-the-Moment Responses:
"I know you want everything you see, but we've already spent our souvenir money for today."
"The fun is in the experience we're having together, not just the things we buy."
Divorce & Separation Scripts
Age-Appropriate Explanations:
"Mom and Dad have decided that we can't live together anymore, but we will always be your parents."
Clear, simple explanation without blame.
"This is not your fault. Nothing you did caused this to happen."
Addressing Their Concerns:
"You'll still have a home with Mom and a home with Dad."
"It's okay to feel sad, angry, or confused. All of those feelings are normal."
Death, Grief & Loss Scripts
Ages 2-4 (Toddlers/Preschoolers):
"[Pet/Person] died. Their body stopped working and they can't come back."
Simple, concrete language without euphemisms.
"Dead means the body doesn't work anymore. No breathing, no eating, no moving."
"We can't fix it or make them better. Death is different from being sick."
"It's okay to feel sad. I feel sad too. We can cry together."
Ages 5-8 (Early Elementary):
"When someone dies, their body stops working forever. They can't breathe, think, or feel anymore."
More detailed but still concrete explanations.
"Death is permanent. That means [person] won't come back, even if we wish really hard."
"Sometimes people die when they're very old, very sick, or in accidents. Most people live for a very long time."
"You didn't cause this to happen. Nothing you said, did, or thought made [person] die."
Ages 9+ (Older Children/Teens):
"Death is when all the body's systems stop functioning permanently. The person's consciousness, thoughts, and feelings end."
Can handle more complex, biological explanations.
"People die for different reasons - illness, accidents, old age, or sometimes their body just stops working."
"It's normal to have many questions about death and what happens after. Different people believe different things."
"Grief is the love we feel with nowhere to go. It's natural and shows how much [person] meant to you."
Teen Challenges & Adolescent Scripts
Opening the Conversation:
"I want to talk about alcohol and drugs because I care about your safety and want you to have accurate information."
"You might be curious about drinking or drugs, or friends might offer them to you. Let's talk about how to handle those situations."
Safety-Focused Approach:
"If you're ever in a situation where you feel unsafe, call me. No questions asked, no punishment."
"Your brain is still developing until you're 25. Substances can interfere with that development."
Financial Responsibility & Money Scripts
Basic Money Concepts:
"Money is a tool that helps us get things we need and want, but it's not the most important thing in life."
"Some things are needs (food, shelter) and some things are wants (toys, treats). We take care of needs first."
Saving vs. Spending:
"When we save money, we can buy bigger things later that we really want."
"It's okay to spend money on things you enjoy, but it's also important to save some."
How to Use These Scripts Effectively
Read through these scripts during calm moments. Practice saying them aloud so they feel more natural when you need them. Consider role-playing with a partner or friend to build confidence.
Modify the language based on your child's age, temperament, and needs. Younger children need simpler language, while older kids can handle more nuanced discussions. Trust your knowledge of your child.
Your tone and body language matter as much as your words. Aim to connect before correcting. Get down to your child's level, use a calm voice, and make eye contact when appropriate.
Need More Personalized Support?
While these scripts provide helpful starting points, every family's situation is unique. If you're facing persistent challenges or need guidance tailored to your specific circumstances, consider scheduling a consultation with one of our licensed psychologists.